As we go through the misty, blurred window
With the colours of pale turquoise and white swirl in harmony
I reminisce about our memories in the off-green landscape
Every morning I wake up to see your sweet face, indulging in tender slumber
And I hold still, sometimes with tears coursing down my cheeks
The pale face and grey eyes was struggling everyday
But I had no idea the pain that was dissolving you
With every step you took, every move you made
I saw the pain that slowly robbed you of your natural fairness
I understand why you never told me.

Perhaps, in where you are in now, you see rich colours of long sought-after dreams
The smiling rainbows and people in styles
No more of the monochrome landscape
The constant black and white sightings
I hear, my dear, the gentle respite flowing wondrously over the hills
The nostalgia sweeps over me with sweet tears

How I yearn to open my eyes each morning and see your gentle face
I place the bouquet at the flower-laden grave
And bid you a colour farewell.

20th March 2003, 12.20am
Departure to Tokyo Japan on flight NH902

Apparel: Baseball vest and Sandwashed jeans
snacks served: table roll + orange juice
** watched '"The Tuxedo"
** hit Street Fighter II and Mario All Stars

20/3/2003
[4.15am]
++Main Course: Hot entree of sausage in omelette
Side dishes of seasonal sald in mayonnaise, fresh fruit, skim yoghurt, morning roll and butter
Beverage of magnolia milk++
[8.44am]
**cleared immigration/luggage and got on coach --> Hokane!
>__<>
[10.53am]
** stopped over at service station
** bought bread from Delifrance to munch on
[12.32pm]
** lunch near Lake Ashi
** turtle-paced cruise along the lake
>__<>
added apparel: white turtleneck and navy Fox pullover and
brown gloves and white beanie
[1.30pm]
** went up to Owakudani Boiling Valley 1050m
** geysers were sprouting from everywhere
>__<>
[5.30pm]
** checked in at Kawaguchiko Park Hotel
>__<>
[6.30pm]
** had a SUMPTOUS dinner
>__<>

21/03/2003
Apparel: Blue turtleneck and striped blouse and jeans
[9.00am]
** checked out of hotel
>__<>
[10.43am]
** stopped at service station Ishigawa Hello Square
** on our way to Shinjuku
[11.45pm]
** arrived at Mouth Fuji 1st station (you can go up to the maximum of 5 stations)
** the snow was beautiful and brought about endless dreams of play and fun
** threw snowballs at the children and ran everywhere as if was reliving my childhood days
>__<>
[1.54pm]
** did a quick walk on the streets, bought the Japanese version of SEVENTEEN
** buffet lunch in Ginza
[3.26pm]
** took pictures at Hibiya Park/Imperial Palace
>__<>
[4.30pm]
** souvenir shopping below Toyko Tower
>__<>
[5.30pm]
** reached Asakusa Kannon Temple
** night stalls were selling practically EVERYTHING
>__<>
[8.40pm]
** checked in at Metropolitican Hotel
** met up with Katsuno-san and wife
** drank hot chocolate and feasted on Cream Anmitsu. An = red bean Mitsu=honey syrup Altogether= vanilla and red bean ice-cream 2 slices of fruit and many cubes of jelly
** Katsuno-san mentioned that it was dangerous to go out at night, even if it was walking on the streets of Ikeburuko
>__<>
[10.30pm]
** changed into the traditional Yukata, also known as a japanese pyjamas
>__<>

22/03/2003
Apparel: Black turtleneck and black pants and pink Gio Kids pullover
[7.30am]
** ate buffet breakfast at hotel restaurant
[8.45am]
** checked out, and we were off to DISNEYLAND!
>__<>You would see pretty cafes with a shophouse style, catch street performances and an ENORMOUS assortment of souvenirs. for example, if you liked this Pooh pencil case, you would find 8 or 10 more different designs/pictures.

You had to queue for everything, from the rides to popcorn and even for the purchase of souvenirs! I wonder how the Japanese can be so patient! I took 3 rides; waited at least 2-3 hours to get on them. Space Mountain is the best ride ever, please go experience it if you get to go DisneyLand.
[7.15pm]
** reached Narita Garden Hotel and craved for the spread of buffet dinner (again)

23/03/2003
Apparel: Gio pullover and black pants
** headed for a nearby shopping centre after buffer breakfast (sian!)
** picked items one after another in the 100 Yen shop
** ate Baskin Robbins and received a glitter rainbow tatoo for my purchase! (just love japan)
** back to hotel for last minute packing before heading to the airport

23rd March 2003, 4.20pm
Departure to Singapore on flight NH901
[5.00pm]
++Appetiser: Pastrami Turkey
Main course of Braised Beef and Kidney Beans Hungarian Style
Side dishes of japanese noodles/soba, cake, table roll and butter
Beverage of Pepsi/Orange Juice
[11.00pm]
** reached Singapore

as much as life can get us down, education can diminish a person's sense of self-worth. the ironic thing is, education is supposed to bring a person's social status to a higher level and endow him with the prestigue of posessing a wide range of professional knowledge and experience. look at a more subtle context - obtaining a diploma in Singapore. no, not long-distance learning. with compressed semesters, that means taking a much shorter time to graduate. but with a shorter time to complete the same toll of modules and projects as our seniors have, the stress on us is growing with misery everyday.

balancing marketing concepts, managing human resources and analysing financial concepts sure sound easy, but what with cross-disciplinary subjects that affect your overall grades? at the end of the day, i've definitely become more brave to go up in front of a group of people and speak, and i understand the more intense elements of leadership than many others, but my core subjects are tipping over the thin scale, and i sleep less than 5 hours every day.i thought it was part of life, enduring the immense stress of studying for a nicely coloured piece of paper. but then again, it's the Ministry of Education's fault for bringing this tremendous time toll on us.

it is absolutely not fair i have to get my diploma studying the same stuff as previous cohorts did. in a compressed period. i look back and wonder if it is all worth it. people say i look older than before, accompanied with horrendous dark rings and swelling eye bags that make my eyes look smaller than they already are. a paler complexion to scare the shit out of my lecturers, save for the fading tint of pink on my cheeks. i can even feel the nerves in my eyeball being stretched, all the red veins gathering to form a messy network when i put on my lenses. durn. i go out with my glasses.

walking in weary steps, do the harsh condiments of education override the tolerance of the human body immune system a little too much?

after so long, i have evoluted into a ragdoll, my heart severely bruised from sudden haulings and harsh plunges over time. like an innocent little girl, i gave my all in every relationship. but with every earnest sacrifice made, i found myself being roughly pushed aside, and only picked up in times of dire loneliness and lust. the effort of designing cards, scribbling sweet-utterings, braving the raindrops to get to him (and hopefully his heart), enduring the scorching sun, trying hard to ignore the sweat dripping from my lashes, swollen eye and strained sockets, all ended up in a bottomless sea of sorrow and bitter tears.

then, you came along, brought a smile to my sullen face all these months. showering me with so much kisses and concern, taking my smiles with you all the time. with the passing of time, it soon became evident you didn't reciprocate my emotions. once again my clothes grew tattered, dirt clung on to my skin, hair turning frizzy and knotty. a few more seconds to becoming a true blue abandoned doll.

what am i? i learnt to realise i'm merely a facade of you, to conceal all sense of weakness and loneliness. a slave of feelings, as if i was mounted on a switchboard, where you could easily manipulate switches to 'I' or 'O'. lost grasp of all hope and faith, after being thrown in a dark corner and cuddled when better days arrived. it's not my fault.

Waiting

In love I learnt the hardest homework.
Waiting for a call never made
Waiting for a shadow that never appears
Waiting for an e-mail never sent out
Waiting for an apology still left unsaid
Waiting for a break-up never mentioned
Waiting for another love, on its way.

Alice and Rabbit were having tea in Wonderland. Alice loved teatimes, teatimes in her dreams confused with fantasies and reality.

She smelt the smoke, but Alice didn't want to wake up, she didn't want to wake up, she didn't want to ruin her teatime. The moment she woke up, she saw the upper floor on fire! Her parents!

"Save youself Alice!" Alice's parents shouted, their voices drowning in the incandescent flames. The cat was mewing in panic, and save for the oil lamp that was knocked over.

Staring up at a white ceiling with both wrists tied to a bar, Alice found herself in an asylum. Her only companion was her rugged teddy. The countless scars on Alice's wrists and hands were the beginning to many nightmares of Wonderland.

The hostile and menacing entrance of Wonderland greeted Alice. It was her fault Wonderland was filled with distorted chambers, black uninviting rivers, bloody brick walls and dangerous booby traps. The demented place was of hers to save.