I will not spin a love story
Only to end with a glum memory
The number 6
Shall be the my final conclusion
To love and everything once beautiful
I pen these words:

Jaded
Bedraggled
Wasted
Debilitated
Fed up
Distressed
Repelled


I hate myself
Weary with tears
Tired of arguments
I've learnt the hardest of way in Jan
To give up when you know you should
Viscousness will not prevail

But still with everything bad
The angel is still out there
To strike an arrow of
Some lovely memories
To you, I say
Thank You for the love,
everything you did,
everything you gave up for me,
faith, numerous chances and
Time, the one you consider so precious.

Trust is a simple word
Like vanilla it makes me happy
It was never enough
Neither was it too much to make us go
I've paid mine in full
But you leave me with deficit
And I'm still waiting for the red-ink debt to be cleared
Yet these marks are permanent
Because it ruined us, somehow, someway.

Now that I lost my chord
I'm deprived of my right
To defend my innocence
The liberty I've embraced so well
All along
What else to speak
When the other does not care

as I saw her the last time
through the bleary glass window
wood turn into fire
fire into ashes
i could only wish hard
the big teddy sidewise her
would accompany Mich through
the hot wicked journey
The Lord would take her in His mighty arms
and lift her from all terra firma
the nastiness of mankind
the foulnesss of diseases
As Daddy held me in his arms
I saw a teardrop fall for me
In the midst of grieving
I asked about the sadness on his face
To me Daddy was the bravest man on earth
Daddy said he felt sad for my sorrow
I stared back at the incinerator
Forcing back the hot tears
One grief could lead to another lament
I will never forget Michelle's passing
and Daddy's love for me.

when I hear Seasons in the Sun
I think of Michelle and the rainbow


Breaking the news through a cell
Was a damaging channel
I never got her reply
But I was awaiting a trauma
The following day
Her stern look
Only told she would shun me
To the ends of our friendship
I walked to her calmly
Then I saw tears brimming in her eyes
What hurt have I done to her!
Heavy with guilt
I swallowed the lump in my throat

She grabbed my arm
Breaking down without delay
I started to sob as well
Pulling away
She weeped silently
As I advanced in her direction
She screamed for me to back off
And finally confronted her tears
As well as the death-to-come
At that moment I realised
Suffering wasn't mine alone
Someone else felt the burden
She was crying for my pain

I gave her my most sincere hug
And told her to be strong
Because I would be
With utmost gratitude
I thanked her silently

I'll never forget that kind of empathy you had for me
The special rapport built only serves for me
To never forget one and only You.

an orange lit ballroom
set the mood for the night
an ill-boding black sky
noticed in the foreground
the shape of the moon
made vague by wispy clouds

the wind blew rapaciously
meant to sweep the beach chairs
off the deck
and perhaps
the virginal passengers onboard
i saw the apocalypse descending
with an eager gloom on the ship

i saw them fall from the deck
threes by fours
and Her
big eyes contoured with liner and thick mascara
she in a chambermaid dress
with a green wraithy glow around her
her hand slipped from the railing
and she cried out to me
those eyes pertub me still

i fathomed, i was the next to go
down into the unknown green sea
did not want to be devoured by it
a rope slapped in my face
and i safely swayed to a nearby habour

in the darkness
with stealth unaccustomed to me
the authorities tapping
with threatening torch lights
i scuttered to the rusty truck
and took the driver's wheel
on an anomalous journey through hell.

First : Denim Patched Mary-janes
Caught my eye in a magazine
Saw the shoe in reality
Paid without hesistation
I enjoyed walked in denim style


Second : White Scrunched-in Flats
Sweet, lovely and pure
Hard to resist
White matches everything
But time took its toll
Leaving creases and broken cloth


Third : Pink Ribbon Stripped Flats
To replace the previous one
Yet hold pleasant memories
Cute, prep and pretty
I always looked forward
But it failed me as well


Fourth : Bronze Ribbon Flats
Seeking something retro
Reasonable pair
Scratched my toes a few
But nice enough to match clothes


Fifth :Pink Pearl PVC Pointys
From my dearest, once
Dreamy, princess like
The shine made it more formal
I loved the circle of pearls the most


Sixth : Dorothy Oz Silver Ribbon Flats
Like Dorothy in the Land of Oz
Given by the good witch
Always a delight to wear them out
And feel the magic within


Seventh : Pastel Yellow Tweed Flower Pumps
A fashion picture stepped into my world
My reality
My favourite pair almost forever
Pretty yellow cloth flowers
Devastated when they got worn in
But pretty memories last forever


Eight : Red Riding Hood Buckle Flats
Fairytales and girly characters
Call the girl in red shoes
Shiny wide silver buckles
Don't get cheated by the Wolf


Ninth : Black Ribbon Sewed Pumps
Classic black
Almost never out of style
Add 4 little ribbons
Sew around the shoes
And call it corporate chic


Tenth : Fila Gold Sports Flats
Somehow reminds me of Greece
Perhaps a little hint of Italy
Gold with White
My favourite combination
Comfy yet good-looking


Eleventh : Bronze Gold Ballerina Flats
Desired another pair of baby-dolls'
More bronze than gold, actually
A little ribbon at each side
I took many good long walks
No pain, no sweat


Twelveth : Brown Polka Dot Peeps
Another retro idea hit on me
Killer heels, peep toes
white polka dots against satin brown
Topped with a ribbon in the middle
Who could resist them
Even the boys get dotted on


Thirteenth : Eygpt Gold Weaved Peeps
Yearning for a pair of goldies
I stumbled upon
Terrific splash of gold
With a weaved front
Great to carry off almost anything


Fourteenth : Jasmine Gold Beaded Flats
Ethnic and lovely
I pretended to be Jasmine in Aladdin
A princess in a short blouse
And the shoes with balloon pants
So meticulously beaded
Shines of gold sequins and beads
Took my heart away to DisneyLand


Fifteenth : Baby Pink Tweed Pumps
Unintentional of me
Yet seems like it was waiting
For the right owner
Pink was a popular colour
Tweed spelled style
The pumps reflected girl
And it's for me


Sixteen : Cream Rose Tweed Flats
My love picked this out
Like a bridemaid's kind
Little white rose settled on
Little green leaves
A tweed-like background
Versatile for all of mine


Seventeenth : Violet Silk Laced Pumps
Adored from afar
Possessed by chance
Victorian glamour
Purple silk covered by black lace
Some extra height
Sensual and classy


Eighteenth : Salavatore Beige Ribbon Slips
Ribbons are a girl's best friend
Beige mirrored fitting smoothy
Brown strip on a Cream ribbon
A gold clip for that special sight
Suitable for any occasion


Nineteenth : Papillios Garden Party White Madrid
All the way from Germany
The dearest slipper paid for
In my entire life
Magenta and turqoise flowers
Printed on white leather
A uber comfortable slipper

Twentyth : White Floral Whistle Pumps
Mod and just mod!
Helps me to be more a lady.


Still counting on. Let's both keep a lookout.

tar-jammed choking lungs
yellow swollen bubbles inside the throat
all that controversy
people don't practise what they preach
sayin it's unhealthy and it kills
but i see them polluting with nicotine
all over
i often wonder, if there's a better way
of addiction and indulgence


when the pain sets in the heart
and tear ducts no longer function
i look to a stranger companion
a wide selection of methol and lights
green is my fave choice
as much as i dread
the invisible stain on clothes
the foul stinging breath
but it takes away
drifts away some despondency


like a tranquilizer
bloody dangerous sedative
that could get one
cuffed to its mortiferous, foreordained
sense of slow extirpation
but if the mind is vigilant
you could steal more time
save some grace from this predeposition

with every breath out
i still look on the revolving world
with much disheartenment
bete noir lurks around
clings to my neck
unresting shadow of hell
will there ever be a day
i can really say im happy
in an uncomplicated manner
and i light another one.