after so long, i have evoluted into a ragdoll, my heart severely bruised from sudden haulings and harsh plunges over time. like an innocent little girl, i gave my all in every relationship. but with every earnest sacrifice made, i found myself being roughly pushed aside, and only picked up in times of dire loneliness and lust. the effort of designing cards, scribbling sweet-utterings, braving the raindrops to get to him (and hopefully his heart), enduring the scorching sun, trying hard to ignore the sweat dripping from my lashes, swollen eye and strained sockets, all ended up in a bottomless sea of sorrow and bitter tears.

then, you came along, brought a smile to my sullen face all these months. showering me with so much kisses and concern, taking my smiles with you all the time. with the passing of time, it soon became evident you didn't reciprocate my emotions. once again my clothes grew tattered, dirt clung on to my skin, hair turning frizzy and knotty. a few more seconds to becoming a true blue abandoned doll.

what am i? i learnt to realise i'm merely a facade of you, to conceal all sense of weakness and loneliness. a slave of feelings, as if i was mounted on a switchboard, where you could easily manipulate switches to 'I' or 'O'. lost grasp of all hope and faith, after being thrown in a dark corner and cuddled when better days arrived. it's not my fault.