at the towering catholic church
with its all too familiar pointed tops
framed with tinted glasses of father and child
the mosiac reminiscence of life's surprises

the mourning moment awakes
the people step into the double-door
in grim vests and crimson lips
as if the black net beneath the hat
could hide the great pain deep inside

flyers printed in memory of Helena
monochrome with a hint of grief
as He steps up to the foyer
the eulogy of hatred and despondency commences

the people creep around the coffin
bestowing their last wishes to the one
they open their bibles and bow their heads
in prayer, in lamentation, in such dolor
that a tiny resurrection was evoked somewhere, somehow

in a black silk corset dress
with crimson silk undergown
she danced melodiously down the church aisle
with her ballet moves and strutting
a kind of dolor cast upon her
as she extended her arm to stroke the hair
of someone dear to her
jerked back at the thought of her actual existence
and continued her ritual down the aisle

when it was time for the mortification
to conclude
once and for all
bury the hatchet, bury the hatred
they carried the coffin down the stairs
the rain beat smoothly on the stone
while the others carried black umbrellas
in sore distress
with a sense of couture

pushing the box into the incinerator
all was done
and all repining and rue had passed away.

the puppy love that blew a bubble
across my innocent heart
never knew it could last for so long
those heart-rushing memories
and heart wrenching moments
leave a permanent scar in my soul
and some wounds are still raw
yet to be healed by the
same old sweetness


Probably lost and forgotten.
the nights of zooming landscape images
on flaming hot wheels
is a permanent entry in my mind
the nights when i cried myself to sleep
tears coursing down the face
so strained and worn out
seeping into the pillow
and into darkness
how about the dawns
my misery turned into screams of distress
the fear of attracting those things
nearly swallowed me and my weak soul up


That's so much damage you did to me
That's how much torture I went through
Just loving you.
couldn't bring myself to hate you
time after time
my faith and loyalty was in your heaven
heartaches you brought me
but i still stood by your side


is our relationship meant to stay
why is it always about money
it's a superficial object
yet enough to sway our dear feelings
now i wonder if my decision that day
had arrowed in the correct direction
i cannot see a future with you precious
i don't wanna live this kind of nightmare
where the loneliness creep in
the red veins form network patterns in my eyes
the pale complexion constantly in a daze
im tired.


im giving up, im too exhausted to go on
this vile journey where there's no love
only selfishness exist
i no longer look forward to those days of
laughter and thick romance
thanks for being a wonderful part of my life once
you're the one who made me realise
how love can be so sweet and simple
and also the same devil who
destroyed the word love for me

my precious,
because of my great love for you, once,
i hope you're happy where you are.