New rantings
Sunday, June 29, 2008
After the irritating uploading of photos, I need some space to pen down my thoughts from the last few weeks.Summers: Intercultural communication has been very relaxing, and I'm enjoying every minute of it. It's probably the slackest course I've attended in SMU. The Prof openly welcomes comments, almost any kind of comments in class. I'm happy to be seated beside Ru, listen comfortably in class without feeling too pressured to participate, do 1 page journal reports, read selected articles. Don't know why, but I'm more motivated than the previous summer course. Perhaps stress burnt me in Social Media and I can't really appreciate this new medium in an academic way. I guess communication at its basics is still my full-time interest.Folks:I think some of them know I haven't gotten over this certain friend who broke off our friendship bluntly. I haven't learnt how to let go except by swearing at the sound of her name. That may seem like pure spite, but it absolutely means I haven't forgiven and forgotten.Friends that I were really close to. In the past I used to naively think we would remain this way forever. Not in the sense our personality and values would remain constant till we grow old, but the friendship, the warmth, the tears, the joy, the chemistry, the love. I don't know where it went to already. And I realized, to my surprise, I had lost that spark with them. I have no idea whether it was distance that pulled all of us superficially apart, or they don't care as much as I do or simply because, I am different now. Family:My sister still needs to be admitted in the hospital weekly, until her condition stabilizes. The bills are obviously a big headache for her. So far the numbers show recovery, but deep within no one has a single clue about what is going on and where the abnormal pain is coming from. It's so worrying.
Uncle bought several men's watches and I got to choose one! I am very delighted because I've always wanted a men watch, one that is big, bulky, heavy, with lots of complicated stuff in the clock face and a thick leather strap.
Love:Isn't the same anymore. So many things got swept under the carpet, so many things were forgotten easily with much love and forgiveness, only to surface in an explosive way and ruin colourful painted dreams. It's all tangled up inside me, I feel resigned to carry on, I feel forced and I don't think that is going to keep me happy for long unless I am sure of what I really want.
Bidding starts on Tues. Dreadful. Especially if I can't get the subjects I want. Have to reorganize my entire timetable. I'm so scared about taking 5 modules per term.
it's Sunday, June 29, 2008 now