him
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
I switched off my phone for the first half of the day because I didn't want to go through a day without receiving his calls or messages. It felt so strange, so lonely and empty. Then I couldn't take it and switched my phone on. Bad mistake. Darn one.
Every time I slide my phone, I would hold my breath for a second, then get so disappointed. The school term only serves to remind me everything good and beautiful is over, serves as a medium to direct my desolation away, not all of it I guess.
Tiffy said it's gonna hurt and hurt until I become numb. I wish I could go to cold Canada and hug her tight and tell her of the hopelessness I have in my heart. She's so far away from me.
I wish for him to pay for his car comfortably, that his performance will be recognized at work, that his parents would enjoy spending more time with their only son, that he will start school soon and begin a new lease of (better) life.
When a good girl comes along to bloom the wiltedness in his sunken heart, I wish that she would lay the neck pillow behind his neck when he starts his engine, share the same love for old school emo rock, entertain him so that he doesn't fall asleep behind the wheel on the highway, be as excited about console games, sings her heart out at the KTV, walk with him on his favourite part of East Coast beach, share strawberry ice-cream with him, hears him out when he throws tantrums, watch HK serial dramas with him, team with him at arcade basketball .........
and locks his arm because he feels very loved this way.
Fallen star. I must find a way to let go of my pain.
When you see a double rainbow in the sky, know that I will be that rainbow in the background to complete your magnificent wonder and beauty.