Tuesday, October 21, 2008
alvy says i should go out, have some fun, stop thinking about things, so i can heal faster. and i really want to. but how do i get the fucking time? i really hate school now. it's as good as entering the real corporate world of politics. can't believe how badly i wanted to enter SMU and begged my mother 3 years ago.if i had gone to work after getting my diploma, i wouldn't meet with so much shit, wouldn't bring stress to my mother, wouldn't be pulling my hair out over my meals, wouldn't force myself to give up shopping for several months, wouldn't make uninformed choices. and wouldn't be judged by my own opinion by Caucasians and smart asses. i know i am not a bright spark, im nowhere near an average IQ as well. but i work very very hard, and life has already dealt its cards with me. the only thing is that i know God will not give me more than i can take, but so what, being stronger doesn't mean i will not fall down the next time. i won't even let a next time happen.
it's Tuesday, October 21, 2008 now