seeking exit out of pain
Saturday, November 14, 2009

i was brave enough to say this was the end, but i fought hard before it rained hard on me, that it was really the end, our end.
over dinner, i wanted so much to grab your shoulders, and remind you of my love, and beg that you won't hurt me like that anymore. such a scene was so disturbingly familiar; i was too aware that i wouldn't derive a different outcome, hence i shouldn't set myself up for another grieving session alone under my pillow.
i wanted this to be a peaceful parting, not a bitter exhibition of emotions when i walk out of your life for the betterment of your life.
how long ago have you stepped one foot outside my window, just to make sure that i was still alive and breathing?
it's Saturday, November 14, 2009 now